Washington, DC 3/5/2016… Man, I hate these fighters that spend weeks making threats about what they’re gonna’ do to somebody and then get in the ring and bitch all the way up. I call Thompson ‘the Tampon’, because he prevented the flow of a good fight breaking out. He claimed, “I’m coming to knock Ortiz the fkout”. He didn’t do shit. The only way he was gonna’ ko Ortiz would’ve been to get him dizzy from chasing his ass around the ring. To begin with, Tony Thompson (40-6-27K) had no damn business, fighting Luis Ortiz (24-0-21K). Ortiz lists his age as 36 but we know how those guys lie about their ages, hell, Rigondeaux is about 50. All Thompson did, was stumble around the damn ring with that silly-ass smirk on his face, looking worse than a sparring partner. His expression was, ‘I can’t believe people paid to see this shit.’ He waited until he was 44 years old before fighting here in his hometown and I’m sure his ‘fans’ said, hey, we can wait another ten years, Tony.
While sitting on his stool between rounds, I thought his old ass was going to sleep. His people were giving him instructions and all this guy was thinking about was being able to count his money afterwards, without somebody’s help. People will say, ‘c’mon Don, it takes large nuts to just get in the ring and he deserves credit. Bullshit, if all you’re gonna’ do is ‘get in the ring’, your credit ain’t worth shit with me. Hell, I’m 73 and I can ‘get in the damn ring and not fight’. What’s so great about that? He was so inept, he stopped Ortiz from looking impressive and whenever Ortiz did land a decent shot, Thompson was on the damn mat. This was a pathetic performance by Tony. He was running like he was running for office in D.C. I was hoping they didn’t interview his ass afterwards. If I never see this guy in a ring again, it’ll be a week too damn soon. As for ‘King Kong’ Ortiz, it was another ko but he can’t feel so hot, after all he was facing a guy that was obviously in DC for a different reason the he was.
Sadam Ali (22-0-13K) v. Jessie Vargas (26-1-9K)
There were two young up and coming Puerto Rican fighters that were being touted as the ‘next Miguel Cotto or Felix Trinidad. Last week, Felix Verdejo went against Willian Silva in a match many though he’d win easily. Well, after struggling to a win with a so-so performance it’s back to the drawing board. That must be a big ‘classroom because a lotta’ guys are always going ‘back to the drawing board’. So tonight it was Sadam Ali’s turn. He was taking on veteran Jessie Vargas who’s still whining about what happened in his Tim Bradley fight. Let it go, Jessie, hell, Josesito Lopez kicked your ass and you got that call. Vargas is another guy that talks a lot and he promised to “make Ali quit”. Well, he damn near did. After a couple of feeling out rounds, Ali started landing a decent right hand on Jessie, who was content to throw a few good body shots. Vargas was reported to have change his cornermen four times in his last six fights. I didn’t know there was a company called Rent a Corner’. After getting shook by a couple of right hands from the young upstart, I was thinking Vargas was gonna’ bring in another set of corner guys. I think I did see a backup team sitting ringside with Vargas on their jackets. Vargas and Chavez Jr. must both shop at ‘rent a Corner’.
By the third round Vargas started getting in Ali’s head and you could see his confidence getting shaky. Jessie was eating those rights and barely belching and this unnerved Ali who was starting to spend too much time on the ropes. Vargas knew Ali wasn’t ready for this work yet and he turned up the heat. The ref in this fight was a damn Dwarf with a limp and he was giving Vargas a hard time. Once, after hurting a tiring Ali, he was given some extra time by the little guy and Vargas threw a damn tantrum. Jumping up and down. Ali’s right eye was closing rapidly and he was close to being wiped out as Vargas was in killer mode, dropping Ali with a big right hand. Ali survived but was again dropped by a right hand in the ninth and wobbled by a series of shots and the little guy jumped in and did the right thing. Ali got some of the cockiness beaten outta’ him and didn’t show the skills I’d seen in previous fights. He wasn’t punching as hard and he seemed unsure of himself. Sometimes that next step up can bite you in the ass. What’s next for Jessie? Naturally he yelled out Bradley, will he ever let it go? There’s plenty of action out there in his class.
Tony Harrison (22-1-18K) V. Fernando Guerrero (28-3-20K)
I was anxious to see how Super Bad Tony Harrison from Detroit was gonna’ conduct himself after letting that country-western singer (Willie Nelson) get in his ass a few months ago. Obviously, it didn’t matter because Harrison came in wearing sunglasses and an outfit that looked like an ear of corn. He was in full Adrian Broner mode, stylin’ smilin’ and profilin’ and I was sayin’, ‘you better win’, brotha’, else you will get the full wrath of the Dinkins killer keyboard. In Guerrero, though he has a decent record, I had to rewind my recorder when one of the talking heads say, “he’d been dropped 15 times in eight fights. I said, now wait, how the hell does that happen? Who is he, Floyd Patterson?
Guerrero is trained by my long time buddy, veteran Shadeed Suluki and his son Kamal. Now, don’t get the idea, Fernando let Harrison out do him in the wardrobe department. He came in with an outfit that was topped off by what I call, yeti boots. It took five minutes just for these guys to get down to their work wear. But at some point, a fight had to take place and it didn’t take long to see how Fernando was dropped so many times as he was trapped in a corner by a blistering combo from Harrison and was deposited like a sack of dirty laundry in a corner. He was able to make it to his corner and then the real fun began. Suluki got in his ass worse than Harrison did.
Wtfk are you doin’ he screamed twice at Fernando and Fernando said, (honestly), “I don’t know”. He should’ve said, “I’m doin’ what I always do, getting knocked down”. Suluki was irate that his boy was fighting in ‘no man’s land’ at the end of Harrison’s shots and getting blasted. This went on for a couple of rounds but Fernando woke up in the fourth and decided he was tired of getting cussed out in the corner and concussed during the fight. He connected with a nice right hook that shook Harrison and seemed to finally realize he was allowed to fight back. In fact, he started to create some doubt in Harrison who suddenly stopped being so aggressive. This was short lived though, as Harrison resumed control in the sixth and trapped Fernando in the corner again and unloaded. His shots were hard and accurate and Guerrero was again in a familiar position. He showed courage in getting up but was very shaky and it wasn’t long before Super Bad decided enough was enough and ended things with another barrage causing the ref to stop it at 1:54 of the round. Afterwards, Harrison went over and put his hand on Fernando’s head in prayer (I guess). I was thinking, ‘he had his hands on this guy all night tryna’ knock his dickstrap loose, now, he’s praying for him’. Aaaaah, the power of prayer and all those right hands.
Antoine Douglas (19-0-1D-13K) v. Avtandl Khurtsidze (30-2-2-20K)
In a brutal fight that illustrated all the good bad and ugliness of boxing, young Antoine (Action) Douglas took on a last minute sub that he knew nothing about. Now, I don’t know if his peeps did any research at all but taking on this White version of Mike Tyson was a big, big mistake. The type of screw up that can derail a career. For the sake of my sanity, I will refer to Khurtsidze as simply, ‘Khurt’ or maybe ‘hurt’ would be more appropriate after what he did to the unsuspecting Douglas camp. Khurt is a 5’4” middleweight which means he’s a damn cinderblock with tree trunks that he calls ‘legs’. The only way you could tell he had a neck would be if he told you. You’d go bankrupt trying to sell him a damn necktie. Not only was he built like Mike, he fought exactly the same way. Relentless and ruthless were his mo’s.
The young and talented Mr. Douglas wanted and needed room to operate but Khurt was out of both. He smothered Antione from what seemed like the time he left his dressing room. He was like a guy on a first date that wouldn’t keep his hands to himself. Douglas was wondering if this was ‘tag-team’ boxing. Khurt was just a bag of muscles and had two more just like him in his corner. These guys looked like they’d take on anybody that knew Antoine. Now, as an old jaded veteran of tha’ game, I don’t normally sympathize with fighters (especially those that don’t know when the hell to retire), but I felt for this guy, because he took a beating from the minute the ref said “touch ‘em up”. This was really a man against a boy and seemed unfair, really and it was obvious his corner wasn’t gonna’ help him out. There were a couple of times they should’ve considered the welfare of their young charge, but well, you know how ‘brave’ these trainers are, right? In the third round a beauty of a left hook stunned Douglas and a follow up series culminated by a right to the butt cheek sending Douglas sprawling almost out of the ring. Khurt was like some sorta’ Ogre, just punishing Antoine unmercifully round after round. Had the youngster patted his wife on the butt or something? He was so close to Douglas, I felt like I was watching a porno movie. Damn, man, at least kiss him once or twice. Oops, I hope Manny Pacquiao doesn’t read this.
This was uncalled for and I fault his corner. I don’t even recall what sorta’ instructions they gave Antoine but he seemed to know he was overmatched. Turns out he was taken to a hospital for observation afterwards. I just hope he’s not badly hurt. Supposedly, Khurt was a late sub for Sam Soliman and I guess his peeps thought he couldn’t be as tough. Douglas tried his best, took a bad beating and never gave up but nothing is worse than hitting a guy with your best shit and having to back up while you’re doing it.
Julian Williams (21-0-1ND-13K) v. Marcello Mantano (16-1-5K)
What the hell is a Marcello Mantano and why was he even in the same city as J-Rock last night? This was totally uncalled for. Being a Philly guy, I’m a fan of Williams and I think he’s one of the best in his division (154lbs), but this was a fight that should’ve been on ESPN2. Mantano looked like a damn roadrunner with that hairdo and he fought like one. Williams’ people had to have known this guy would be hard to look good against. Plus, with the way he used his head on the inside and given that roadrunner hairdo, this could’ve been a problem it looked like damn band saw. Williams is a cool, calculating customer though and never let the awkwardness of Mantano affect him as he went about his work. He finally solved the puzzle with body shots. Mantano, sounds like some Italian salad dressing to me and wasn’t much more than that to J-Rock. The end came in the seventh round as Williams unloaded some heavy duty work on this hapless, very limited opponent. After the ‘fight’ the normally reserved Williams went off on champ Jermall Charlo, also unbeaten and would be a helluva’ fight. He said,” c’mon fight me Jermall, stop being a little girl, getting all that free money, fight me man, you turkey, all you 54’s are turkeys and scared to fight me’. When asked what he thought Charlo will say, he replied, “he ain’t gonna’ say nuthin’ he’s already makin’ excuses saying he can’t make weight”. I may be guessing but I think J-Rock wants Charlo and I think he’d beat the Texan.